Today I’m 5w 2d. The Pregnancy Calendar says I’m 37 days into my pregnancy.
I’m re-reading Vicki Iovine’s book “The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy”. I love this book; despite her sometimes wandering and image-focused musings, it’s hilarious, comforting and real. It’s also about an “older” mom.
She survived, I should, too.
No morning sickness as of yet. I know I’m completely jinxing myself and I’ll wake up tomorrow absolutely wretched. My biggest fear – because I commute to work – is being struck with an unstoppable wave of nausea while I’m in mid-commute – in the middle of a packed, standing room only bus.
Hopefully it will never happen.
I have been having dizzy spells for the past week or so, lots of mild-ish cramps and pulling sensations. A massively swelling chest – I’m wearing bras to bed now because my chest is larger and sensitive to any shift in position. My sense of smell has changed, things don’t quite smell the same. I’m exhausted – Dawn of the Living Dead exhausted. I can sleep on the bus or at the computer, anywhere I stop moving for a minute.
I’ve been cutting down caffeine and I’m down to 1 cup of caffeinated coffee a day now – soon to be just decaf. It hasn’t been as difficult as I feared, then again… I’m not caffeine free yet.
In a way I’m looking forward to morning sickness – maybe then this will seem real. I still can’t believe I’m pregnant, it doesn’t seem real. My partner has said he’s very happy. I’m mostly stunned, worried about how I can possibly manage this… and wondering when I’ll feel pregnant.
I know it’ll come back to haunt me.
